[stripclub review] Jumbo’s Clown Room

[stripclub review]

Jumbo’s Clown Room

5153 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Phone: 213-666-1187

Visited: Sunday 9-29-19, 8:30 p.m.
$pent: $10

By Reviewer X

I was in Hollywood, going to drive down to San Diego, and didn’t want to drink any alcohol so after doing some top secret reviewer business in L.A. I stopped into Jumbo’s Clownroom for a stripclub coffee. It was $5 and I had ten. I tipped the bartender and one of the dancers the other five bills. Christine the bartender was friendly and so was the dancer although I didn’t ask her name. I sat next to the jukebox where this dancer, whose dance I tipped, a really thin tallish brunette (she had on high stillettos), asked me what my Spotify was as she set up her dance on the jukebox to my left, and told me exictedly she was doing a set with a “fire” theme. I’m normally a Pandora guy, so I didn’t remember what was on my old Spotify.

I stayed around for about 20 minutes, maybe half an hour or four dancers, drank my coffee and one free refill before leaving wired for the two hour drive.

Jumbo’s is a great place for this type of quick stop. No cover at the door, one small room with a single stage against the wall to the right as you walk in with the bar along the left. I’ve always noticed a really friendly vibe from the employees and even sometimes the crowd. It’s an intimate neighborhood dive where the hot girls on staff dance in bikinis.

I’ve seen plenty of couples there too in the handful of busy nights I’ve been in. I’m guessing there’s a lot of industry types from the Hollywood media scene that go. On this night some well-dressed north-of-300-pound guy sat two stools away from me at the corner of the bar (skinny Spotify girl set up between us) and was getting big bills changed into stacks of ones to throw onto the stage. I think Courtney Love listed Jumbo’s Clownroom on her Twitter as where she’s “from” haha, last time I checked.

Jumbo’s drawback? The place is in a small strip mall in the middle of a densely crowded residential neighborhood with scarce parking even on a Sunday like this night. The $7 that they charged in the parking lot out front might be a good deal unless you’re willing to drive around looking and eventually walk three blocks like I did. On the plus side the drinks I’ve had at Jumbo’s are very strong. They don’t skimp here.

Normally I’m not interested in bikini bars (it’s like what’s the point?) but the girls at Jumbo’s are often hot (9/10) and can be really great dancers when there’s an appreciative crowd, talking feature dancer visiting-porn-star quality here. High entertainment value.

I’m going long, I know. But I’ll underscore, the thing about Jumbo’s Clown Room is that you don’t go there expecting an epic lap dance, or any nudity. You go there to drink and watch the girls dance. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll have some friendly conversation. If you come there with friends then you can really have a good time. It’s a bikini bar not a real strip club, but it might be the friendliest one around, and it’s affordable. This place is not a rip-off at all, with no door cover, and you’re never hassled for tips.

Before this night the last time I was in was maybe a year-and-a-half ago and whoever the bartender was at that time she made my gin and tonics pretty much all gin with just a splash of quinine tonic water for taste and a little wedge of lime for looks. I had three of those and at the end of the night walked back to my van parked on Normandie Avenue to sleep in the back because I didn’t dare drive away. The Jumbo’s dancers are often some of the best in town, and for a city like Los Angeles that’s saying a lot. Stop in again. Jumbo’s Clown Room is more like a cult then a bar.

Jumbo's Clown Room on Hollywood Boulevard.
Jumbo’s Clown Room on Hollywood Boulevard.
Jumbo's Clown Room picture-taking sing.
Jumbo’s Clown Room picture-taking sing.

About Hustlers, the movie…

Pole Dancing: Fitness Motivation, or Something More?

By Emilee Eugburn

Hustlers.

HUSTLERS tonight with mah fav betch, Brittany Buzard, as excited as I am about this movie I think it highlights a dialog that MUST take place…

Pole is becoming a phenomena that can be done both inside and outside the club. I see many of my acquaintances using the excuse that they are POLERS not STRIPPERS. Y’all buy a pair of Pleaser’s and take a class once a week which in your mind puts you leagues ahead of your “club” counterparts. SO MANY women and men use Strippers and sex workers as the brunt of violent and humiliating jokes and stories without ever once considering that THESE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. Women- ALL women and TBH all people as little as I care for men- are living beings with agency and calculating capabilities. We calculate our best options and go from there. We are not tissues to be used and discarded, regardless of that fervid rhetoric.

The Western appropriation aside, the reason you all want to pole dance specifically to be your fitness routine is that you want to look like a stripper. You want that dangerous, slumming, mysterious aura. You want to walk around with confidence like I do in 8″ heels, you want to LOOK like men pay you hundreds of dollars because you are simply desirable. You want TO FEEL EDGY and DESIRABLE… Yet you don’t want the dangers or stigma. You don’t want the very real threat of losing homes, jobs, family, scholarships, children, careers, FUTURES. You know that the edginess you crave comes at a price, and your way to combat that is NOT to combat stripper stigma, your way of dealing with this is to play up respectability politics for all you’re worth, widening dichotomy between PURE YOU and FILTHY US, too busy selling our bodies to dirty old men to develop the skills YOU DEEM acceptable. SO THE NEXT TIME you wanna toss up that #STRIPPERLIFE tag on IG remember there are women and men who make their livelihood from dancing whose accounts have been deleted and shadow banned for THAT SAME TAG. When you want to wear that pair of Pleaser’s to Funky Monk but are offended when asked if you are a dancer, remember who you are appropriating and simply respond with “No, I am not a stripper, and it makes me nervous that you would ask that BC sex work is so loaded and sex workers are murdered and discriminated against, so I get defensive about this but I am trying to fight it and support strippers in ending sex work stigma, staring with myself.”

And I bet not see half y’alls faces come “amateur night”.

ARAB ON RADAR: Jeff Schneider reads from “Psychiatric Tissues

[Public Performance]

Poetry Night at The Biker Bar

video by Reviewer.TV

Jeff “Mister Clinical Depression” Schneider of Arab On Radar reads from “Psychiatric Tissues — the history of the iconic noise rock band Arab On Radar” at Peter D’s bar in Clairemont Mesa, San Diego, on the night of June 29, 2019, during Lisa Carver’s I LOVE ART mini-tour. Unfortunately this was shot wit my cellphone and not a proper video camera with a directional mic. So you have to listen to the ambient crowd noise over Jeff’s lightly-amplified yet compelling Soprano’s-style reading voice. After his turn on stage there were skits from Lisa’s new book by an ad-hoc ensamble of amatuer thespians, then there was biker karaoke. Fun for all!


Jeff’s fine silk-screened poster for his book.
Inscribed.
Psychiatric Tissues, cover.