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Stripping in the Time of Social Distancing

[Club Review]

Cowboy’s Showgirls

“Nude” with alcohol, in Lexington, KY.

8-19-20, Wednesday night, 8:30.

by Reviewer X

COWBOY'S SHOWGIRLS, stripclub review, Lexington, KY.
COWBOY’S SHOWGIRLS, stripclub review, Lexington, KY.

I had some media business to do in Lexington and wanted to see some naked girls and find out how the totally nude titty bars were faring there during this time. As a summer-of-2020 review of a stripclub during the Covid pandemic we’ll assume this is going to be a tame one.

How these poor ladies make a living in these dismal times I really don’t know. At Cowboy’s of Lexington there’s a $5 cover, they shoot you in the forehead with an airport temperature gun and you wear a mask when you come in and are seated. A sign on the table reminds you, but here as in many places often few heed the admonition.

A dancer called Hershey at Diva’s up the street (all black dancers, mostly) told me, through our masks, that when things were shut down earlier this year she was without work from mid-March until May, and it’s been slow since then. She’s a mom and a hair stylist also so that income helps, she said.

Anyways, here at Cowboy’s the dancers all were white tonight. I didn’t talk to any of them because none approached me and I expected a lot more than I got. For a $5 door cover and the inexpensive drinks — expected for Kentucky — I won’t complain much. I kept my mask on and kept to myself.

The friendly and courteous doorman got a $2 tip before wand-scanning me and the chubby little waitress who brought the short $3.50 bottle of water got the change from a five. So the visit cost me $12 before I had a chance to tip the girls any of the handful of ones that I’d asked the doorman for. Which I didn’t, unfortunately. The girls either paid attention to guys that approached them on stage to tip while standing next to the rail or else a small group flocked around this one old geezer at a table six-to-eight social-distanced feet to my left as I faced the stage. I was one of the few patrons who kept my mask so I just sat there, lonely at a table for four, holding my ones. There was maybe 25 people in the club — dancers, marks, bartender, doormen, all included. The staff were all white. Crowd looked almost half white, youngish, and then half black with the black guys sitting in tables towards the back. I saw one Paki-looking fellow sitting close to the stage to my right, getting up to tip and getting several face-to-boob smooshes. Then there was me, the only long-haired white dude there.

The room looked mid-sized, dark as I like it, 60 to 70 or so feet wide and almost 60 deep (unsure, it was dark), with two bars. Only one was open and serving. The stage is centered between the bars in back as you walk in and was small but long, kind of a zig-zagged elongated Z-shape, with two main poles and a set of them behind as a sort of barrier.

Music was mellow rock-ish and some hip hop, I think. The sound was unmemorable and didn’t impress me. None of the girls took off their bottoms, inappropriate for a nude stripclub. It reminded me of Potts Point, Sydney, where the girls were hot but wanted to get tipped really well before they’d show their goods (which they NEVER DID). I mean, they do know what they’re getting tipped for, don’t they? One of the girls here at Cowboy’s didn’t even show her tits. She was a pretty blonde, about 5-5, and wore a shirt that said “NO TIPS / NO TITS”. I sure as fuck didn’t tip her, and although someone might’ve I didn’t see anyone else do it either, not even the crusty old unshaven grey-headed geezer in shorts and a t-shirt who always had three or four dancers at this table. He’d been going up and shelling out money to the girls on stage but remained seated for her. And really on the looks scale she was a solid 6 or even a 7 in the right light. I would have been into it had she given me some motivation.

Most of the girls here were more like fives — pretty, mostly blonde and thin enough, but when the stage light caught their legs at an unflattering angle you could see some cottage cheese making an appearance. Cowboy’s definitely had small town talent. I stayed for about 10 or 12 songs. The girls danced mostly in pairs, another one arriving during the first girl’s second song. At one point a happy dancer looked drunk and got a bit friendly with her girl on stage, going in for the slow-dance embrace before they sank down to the floor and she began simulating cunnilingus before the other dancer cooled her off and got her to back away. That’s about the hottest the action got tonight that I saw.

By order of the governor all bars and restaurants in Kentucky must close currently by 10 p.m. due to Covid, so there’s that holding them back. I sympathize and think they’re heroic for even trying. But I expected more for a club in a city with a fair per-capita income and a good college population. Things could and should get wild in a place with a name like “Cowboy’s Showgirls”.

In all this is a nice club, not too divey, and looks to have potential. But tonight wasn’t really worth $12. I satisfied my curiosity. Once was enough. Maybe I’ll return after this pandemic is over and I can pick a girl for a private. I’m not sure if they even do that here because I didn’t see the dancers reeling in any marks. One move the girls did on stage was the boobs/face-smoosh when guys walk up and tip during a dance. That and the alcohol are novelties they don’t have back in California at nude stripclubs. Although as reported, the “nude” part at Cowboy’s has yet to be revealed.

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Archive Gallery/New Models Wanted (as always)

Pretty Girls

As described before, we at Les Revue strive to bring you the very best in mature entertainment for discerning adults. In doing so we are embarking on another Talent Search.

I’ve posted a gallery HERE of archival art photos as an example of the talent we seek. They’re not porn stars or sex workers (although there’s nothing wrong with that) — they’re models and performance artists, as well as girls sourced from the community that wanted to fulfill a need to try something exciting.

New girls looking for a modeling gig can contact us HERE.

~Rob

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[stripclub review] Jumbo’s Clown Room

[stripclub review]

Jumbo’s Clown Room

5153 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027

Phone: 213-666-1187

Visited: Sunday 9-29-19, 8:30 p.m.
$pent: $10

By Reviewer X

I was in Hollywood, going to drive down to San Diego, and didn’t want to drink any alcohol so after doing some top secret reviewer business in L.A. I stopped into Jumbo’s Clownroom for a stripclub coffee. It was $5 and I had ten. I tipped the bartender and one of the dancers the other five bills. Christine the bartender was friendly and so was the dancer although I didn’t ask her name. I sat next to the jukebox where this dancer, whose dance I tipped, a really thin tallish brunette (she had on high stillettos), asked me what my Spotify was as she set up her dance on the jukebox to my left, and told me exictedly she was doing a set with a “fire” theme. I’m normally a Pandora guy, so I didn’t remember what was on my old Spotify.

I stayed around for about 20 minutes, maybe half an hour or four dancers, drank my coffee and one free refill before leaving wired for the two hour drive.

Jumbo’s is a great place for this type of quick stop. No cover at the door, one small room with a single stage against the wall to the right as you walk in with the bar along the left. I’ve always noticed a really friendly vibe from the employees and even sometimes the crowd. It’s an intimate neighborhood dive where the hot girls on staff dance in bikinis.

I’ve seen plenty of couples there too in the handful of busy nights I’ve been in. I’m guessing there’s a lot of industry types from the Hollywood media scene that go. On this night some well-dressed north-of-300-pound guy sat two stools away from me at the corner of the bar (skinny Spotify girl set up between us) and was getting big bills changed into stacks of ones to throw onto the stage. I think Courtney Love listed Jumbo’s Clownroom on her Twitter as where she’s “from” haha, last time I checked.

Jumbo’s drawback? The place is in a small strip mall in the middle of a densely crowded residential neighborhood with scarce parking even on a Sunday like this night. The $7 that they charged in the parking lot out front might be a good deal unless you’re willing to drive around looking and eventually walk three blocks like I did. On the plus side the drinks I’ve had at Jumbo’s are very strong. They don’t skimp here.

Normally I’m not interested in bikini bars (it’s like what’s the point?) but the girls at Jumbo’s are often hot (9/10) and can be really great dancers when there’s an appreciative crowd, talking feature dancer visiting-porn-star quality here. High entertainment value.

I’m going long, I know. But I’ll underscore, the thing about Jumbo’s Clown Room is that you don’t go there expecting an epic lap dance, or any nudity. You go there to drink and watch the girls dance. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll have some friendly conversation. If you come there with friends then you can really have a good time. It’s a bikini bar not a real strip club, but it might be the friendliest one around, and it’s affordable. This place is not a rip-off at all, with no door cover, and you’re never hassled for tips.

Before this night the last time I was in was maybe a year-and-a-half ago and whoever the bartender was at that time she made my gin and tonics pretty much all gin with just a splash of quinine tonic water for taste and a little wedge of lime for looks. I had three of those and at the end of the night walked back to my van parked on Normandie Avenue to sleep in the back because I didn’t dare drive away. The Jumbo’s dancers are often some of the best in town, and for a city like Los Angeles that’s saying a lot. Stop in again. Jumbo’s Clown Room is more like a cult then a bar.

Jumbo's Clown Room on Hollywood Boulevard.
Jumbo’s Clown Room on Hollywood Boulevard.
Jumbo's Clown Room picture-taking sing.
Jumbo’s Clown Room picture-taking sing.