Jumbo’s Clown Room
5153 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90027
Visited: Sunday 9-29-19, 8:30 p.m.
By Reviewer X
I was in Hollywood, going to drive down to San Diego, and didn’t want to drink any alcohol so after doing some top secret reviewer business in L.A. I stopped into Jumbo’s Clownroom for a stripclub coffee. It was $5 and I had ten. I tipped the bartender and one of the dancers the other five bills. Christine the bartender was friendly and so was the dancer although I didn’t ask her name. I sat next to the jukebox where this dancer, whose dance I tipped, a really thin tallish brunette (she had on high stillettos), asked me what my Spotify was as she set up her dance on the jukebox to my left, and told me exictedly she was doing a set with a “fire” theme. I’m normally a Pandora guy, so I didn’t remember what was on my old Spotify.
I stayed around for about 20 minutes, maybe half an hour or four dancers, drank my coffee and one free refill before leaving wired for the two hour drive.
Jumbo’s is a great place for this type of quick stop. No cover at the door, one small room with a single stage against the wall to the right as you walk in with the bar along the left. I’ve always noticed a really friendly vibe from the employees and even sometimes the crowd. It’s an intimate neighborhood dive where the hot girls on staff dance in bikinis.
I’ve seen plenty of couples there too in the handful of busy nights I’ve been in. I’m guessing there’s a lot of industry types from the Hollywood media scene that go. On this night some well-dressed north-of-300-pound guy sat two stools away from me at the corner of the bar (skinny Spotify girl set up between us) and was getting big bills changed into stacks of ones to throw onto the stage. I think Courtney Love listed Jumbo’s Clownroom on her Twitter as where she’s “from” haha, last time I checked.
Jumbo’s drawback? The place is in a small strip mall in the middle of a densely crowded residential neighborhood with scarce parking even on a Sunday like this night. The $7 that they charged in the parking lot out front might be a good deal unless you’re willing to drive around looking and eventually walk three blocks like I did. On the plus side the drinks I’ve had at Jumbo’s are very strong. They don’t skimp here.
Normally I’m not interested in bikini bars (it’s like what’s the point?) but the girls at Jumbo’s are often hot (9/10) and can be really great dancers when there’s an appreciative crowd, talking feature dancer visiting-porn-star quality here. High entertainment value.
I’m going long, I know. But I’ll underscore, the thing about Jumbo’s Clown Room is that you don’t go there expecting an epic lap dance, or any nudity. You go there to drink and watch the girls dance. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll have some friendly conversation. If you come there with friends then you can really have a good time. It’s a bikini bar not a real strip club, but it might be the friendliest one around, and it’s affordable. This place is not a rip-off at all, with no door cover, and you’re never hassled for tips.
Before this night the last time I was in was maybe a year-and-a-half ago and whoever the bartender was at that time she made my gin and tonics pretty much all gin with just a splash of quinine tonic water for taste and a little wedge of lime for looks. I had three of those and at the end of the night walked back to my van parked on Normandie Avenue to sleep in the back because I didn’t dare drive away. The Jumbo’s dancers are often some of the best in town, and for a city like Los Angeles that’s saying a lot. Stop in again. Jumbo’s Clown Room is more like a cult then a bar.