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Stripping in the Time of Social Distancing

[Club Review]

Cowboy’s Showgirls

“Nude” with alcohol, in Lexington, KY.

8-19-20, Wednesday night, 8:30.

by Reviewer X

COWBOY'S SHOWGIRLS, stripclub review, Lexington, KY.
COWBOY’S SHOWGIRLS, stripclub review, Lexington, KY.

I had some media business to do in Lexington and wanted to see some naked girls and find out how the totally nude titty bars were faring there during this time. As a summer-of-2020 review of a stripclub during the Covid pandemic we’ll assume this is going to be a tame one.

How these poor ladies make a living in these dismal times I really don’t know. At Cowboy’s of Lexington there’s a $5 cover, they shoot you in the forehead with an airport temperature gun and you wear a mask when you come in and are seated. A sign on the table reminds you, but here as in many places often few heed the admonition.

A dancer called Hershey at Diva’s up the street (all black dancers, mostly) told me, through our masks, that when things were shut down earlier this year she was without work from mid-March until May, and it’s been slow since then. She’s a mom and a hair stylist also so that income helps, she said.

Anyways, here at Cowboy’s the dancers all were white tonight. I didn’t talk to any of them because none approached me and I expected a lot more than I got. For a $5 door cover and the inexpensive drinks — expected for Kentucky — I won’t complain much. I kept my mask on and kept to myself.

The friendly and courteous doorman got a $2 tip before wand-scanning me and the chubby little waitress who brought the short $3.50 bottle of water got the change from a five. So the visit cost me $12 before I had a chance to tip the girls any of the handful of ones that I’d asked the doorman for. Which I didn’t, unfortunately. The girls either paid attention to guys that approached them on stage to tip while standing next to the rail or else a small group flocked around this one old geezer at a table six-to-eight social-distanced feet to my left as I faced the stage. I was one of the few patrons who kept my mask so I just sat there, lonely at a table for four, holding my ones. There was maybe 25 people in the club — dancers, marks, bartender, doormen, all included. The staff were all white. Crowd looked almost half white, youngish, and then half black with the black guys sitting in tables towards the back. I saw one Paki-looking fellow sitting close to the stage to my right, getting up to tip and getting several face-to-boob smooshes. Then there was me, the only long-haired white dude there.

The room looked mid-sized, dark as I like it, 60 to 70 or so feet wide and almost 60 deep (unsure, it was dark), with two bars. Only one was open and serving. The stage is centered between the bars in back as you walk in and was small but long, kind of a zig-zagged elongated Z-shape, with two main poles and a set of them behind as a sort of barrier.

Music was mellow rock-ish and some hip hop, I think. The sound was unmemorable and didn’t impress me. None of the girls took off their bottoms, inappropriate for a nude stripclub. It reminded me of Potts Point, Sydney, where the girls were hot but wanted to get tipped really well before they’d show their goods (which they NEVER DID). I mean, they do know what they’re getting tipped for, don’t they? One of the girls here at Cowboy’s didn’t even show her tits. She was a pretty blonde, about 5-5, and wore a shirt that said “NO TIPS / NO TITS”. I sure as fuck didn’t tip her, and although someone might’ve I didn’t see anyone else do it either, not even the crusty old unshaven grey-headed geezer in shorts and a t-shirt who always had three or four dancers at this table. He’d been going up and shelling out money to the girls on stage but remained seated for her. And really on the looks scale she was a solid 6 or even a 7 in the right light. I would have been into it had she given me some motivation.

Most of the girls here were more like fives — pretty, mostly blonde and thin enough, but when the stage light caught their legs at an unflattering angle you could see some cottage cheese making an appearance. Cowboy’s definitely had small town talent. I stayed for about 10 or 12 songs. The girls danced mostly in pairs, another one arriving during the first girl’s second song. At one point a happy dancer looked drunk and got a bit friendly with her girl on stage, going in for the slow-dance embrace before they sank down to the floor and she began simulating cunnilingus before the other dancer cooled her off and got her to back away. That’s about the hottest the action got tonight that I saw.

By order of the governor all bars and restaurants in Kentucky must close currently by 10 p.m. due to Covid, so there’s that holding them back. I sympathize and think they’re heroic for even trying. But I expected more for a club in a city with a fair per-capita income and a good college population. Things could and should get wild in a place with a name like “Cowboy’s Showgirls”.

In all this is a nice club, not too divey, and looks to have potential. But tonight wasn’t really worth $12. I satisfied my curiosity. Once was enough. Maybe I’ll return after this pandemic is over and I can pick a girl for a private. I’m not sure if they even do that here because I didn’t see the dancers reeling in any marks. One move the girls did on stage was the boobs/face-smoosh when guys walk up and tip during a dance. That and the alcohol are novelties they don’t have back in California at nude stripclubs. Although as reported, the “nude” part at Cowboy’s has yet to be revealed.

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