Do you like to gamble?

[strip club review]

Dames & Games

2259 E Washington Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90021

by Reviewer X

I showed up at Dames & Games early on a Saturday night, 9 p.m. November 16, after I’d made a first-time exploratory trip to Gold-Diggers on Santa Monica Boulevard only to find out it hadn’t been stripping for three years now and was a boutique dive bar instead of the stripclub it gave off the vibe of due to its looks from the street. I’d also stopped by The Playpen on South Santa Fe Ave. to do a first-time visit before coming here but although Playpen looked high-end it appeared dead and too well-lit so the $20 cover didn’t feel like a good investment. So I opted not to go in and came to this place instead.

Online the cover was listed as $10 but the doorman standing in the entry asked for $15, and wouldn’t budge — friendly but firm as he scanned my i.d. card under the desk light. I probably sounded like a total cheapskate straight out’o the gate and catching a glimpse of the girl at the desk beside him she wasn’t impressed. I told him this club’s cover was listed on TUSCL as $10. “The cover charge is fifteen dollars,” he cheerfully repeated. “We’re not the Spearmint Rhino, sir.” After I paid he told me the door charge gets me a pat down. He then asked me to turn around and face the door so he could make sure I have “no weapons of mass destruction,” as he gave me a brief frisk and ran the electric wand over me.

I got an $8 bottle of Corona with no lime from the sports lounge in back and tipped the female bartender $2 even though she took her sweet time finding my eyes to serve me. There was a medium-sized crowd of marks, I’d say, mostly in the bar area and not around the stage. This is a larger club, mind you, and it was still rather early in the evening. I saw two main rooms, one being the sports bar in back and the larger stage room in front. The stage itself is big and curvy with three poles in its center space. The club has a well maintained appearance and seems high-end and it’s just dark enough, which I like. The girls this night were alright looking, mostly fives, and would go on singly or two at a time, sometimes three. A few were slightly on the more chunky side, some less. Okay I honestly wasn’t that impressed with any of them except Lola. Not too into some of the chubbies with pear-shaped asses I saw but whatever, to each their own. They probably have their regulars too.

Then out of nowhere Lola appeared. Swooping in with blonde hair and thin lips, young and very pretty in a natural girl-next-door way, maybe 5-4 or so, slender but firm, she sauntered over from my 10 o-clock and without asking wordlessly slinked her way onto my lap, stealthily planting her ass and legs on my thigh and reclined against the sofa next to my shoulder with her face inches from mine. She moved like a cat mounting her favorite branch of a tree. ‘Very nice,’ I thought, ‘this girl is good.’ Her right butt cheek was pressing down on my dick now and as we talked I felt the beginnings of a boner. I wiggled it shamelessly under her weight.

Lola and I embarked on the smalltalk chitchat. I told her I was new in town and where I was from. Turns out we’re both from the same Southern California county. We talked about… what else did we talk about at first, again? I think she might have said something about her school, although I could be conflating this with another stripper at another club. Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t have waited two weeks to write this review. She definitely told me she’d been dancing for a year and listed a string of L.A. strip clubs but said she works at D&G because here she can drink. I think she told me the club is somehow affiliated with the Spearmint, although if she said it was owned by them I don’t exactly recall so I won’t quote her. This immediately reminded me of a great long semi-private lap dance I’d been given from an Hispanic dancer at the downtown Rhino fifteen years ago for $75 where there was LOTS of action/mileage. The girl actually took my hands and placed them on her bare tits and thonged ass at the start of the dance when she sat on me. It was a shocker being from super uptight San Diego like I was.

Lola said the price for her privates at D&G that night was $140 for I think four songs. I asked her what that included and she said I could touch her as she looked towards the front of her body. I was already slowly giving this kitty cat a fingertip massage up and down her left butt cheek, back and thigh. “But,” she said, “the bikini stays on.” Sounds sneaky in retrospect. I think she then mumbled something offhand about the local ordinances right now. We talked a while to see if I’d warm up. Eventually she came down to $25 for a one-song dance, which from her tone of voice was her final offer. I eventually declined saying I didn’t want to lead her on thinking I would but was actually really enjoying her being there even if it was for a sales pitch. How often does an old geezer in his mid-fifties get a young hottie to spread her ass on his leg unless you’re a gym teacher or some kind of monger? This felt normal. I asked Lola what her ideal job would be as she reclined on me as a chair. She replied straight away, “To be a billionaire who didn’t have to work.” She didn’t say ‘actress’ or ‘model’; she’s a real Angeleno and not naive.

I told her that she felt good while we bided our time to see if I’d bite. She really did — all young and lean. She purred that I did too, and asked when I was born. When I told her, approximately, she replied with hers and my astrological signs, and said we were a good match. Judging from how well this hot bitch’s ass fit my hip and thigh I was tempted to accept this as more than just stripper talk, but hey I’d only had less than one beer and been in the club for like ten minutes. I then offered, “Maybe we should date?” She nodded, smiling while giving good direct eye-contact. This baby was really working her mark. (Glad I wrote notes as I left the bar because I’d forgotten about that detail.) Maybe I should have taken a chance on that one-song dance, in retrospect. But then I impulsively asked if I could get her phone number and she expressionlessly replied, “Yes, if you get a private.” That was when I asked her for the prices ($140) and what’s allowed.

All in all she was a fine looking sweetie but I told her I didn’t want to lead her on because I wasn’t going to do that. She tried again for a one-song $25 dance but I said no. I felt sorry for her and we talked bit more before she moved on, looking at me annoyed now as she got up from my lap. I wished her luck and said, “Make lot’s of money!”

So, sadly, sport fans, this cheap date didn’t get any play from the lovely Lola. I hope she scores there. Los Angeles can be expensive for a girl like her if they don’t have a sugar daddy. The artist class in this town is starved out by ultra high rents and no one comes here expecting to ‘Make It In Hollywood’ anymore. Even the porn industry has left town due to over-regulation. There’s still some good times to be had though, if you feel you have disposable cash. On a different night I might’ve gambled on more than a lapdance with lovely Lola at Dames & Games.

[words and photos by the mysterious Reviewer X]

Do you like games?
Do you like games?
Dames & Games, within the westbound noise field of the I-10 freeway.
Dames & Games, within the westbound noise field of the I-10 freeway.

Lisa Carver [Interview] on Carseat Theater: Suckdog’s Final Tour

[Verbatim]

Lisa Suckdog Carver interviewed with her band during the final Suckdog tour in the summer of 2016

Car Seat Theater Reviewer TV interview by Reviewer Rob as he drives the band of performers up to Los Angeles on Interstate 5 on a hot afternoon.




After Lisa’s recent tour through Southern California (Los Angeles and San Diego) it’s about time to have the video interview we did with her and her band Suckdog in their 2016 Summer Tour when I drove her from San Diego to L.A. so she could play Cafe Nela. Again, as always, if there are any inconsistencies with the transcription please email DepartmentOfCorrections@lesrevue.com. ~Editor

Rob: So we’re at Car Seat Theatre with Lisa Carver, and the Cusak sisters, Jen and Maddie. Are there’s Sadie, Lisa’s daughter back there. [girls wave at camera from the back of the van] And we’re talking about things that we can talk about on camera, Lisa’s been talking about a lot of things that she can’t– won’t talk about on camera, so now we’re going to talk about some things on camera. Can we talk about how you stopped doing drugs because you wanted to save your youth?

Lisa: [rummaging through purse] You should talk to the Cusak’s because I’ve done like 5,000 interviews in like–

Jen: Um, I haven’t stopped yet.

Maddie: I haven’t stopped yet either.

Rob: Yay!

Maddie: But I don’t buy drugs.

Rob: You don’t buy em?

Maddie: No I don’t buy drugs.

Rob: Is that because you’re crafty, or because you’re a young and good looking female?

Maddie: It’s because I’m a young and good looking female. [laughs] So I can just get them.

Rob: So you get guys that wanna like hook up with you to buy drugs for you?

Maddie: No, no, no! Not that dark. [smiles] It’s just that if I go out and I see people doing drugs and I wanna do drugs I can ask them.

Rob: Okay, and you’re from Detroit. Tell us about the scene in Detroit. This is Madeline that’s talking right now by the way.

Maddie: Um, well there’s a lot of different things going on. There’s like art-bro’s, and there’s noise-bro’s–

Rob: We’re talking about styles of music?

Maddie: Yeah there’s a lot of noise, and there’s a lot of kind of like– cheesy garage rock kind of people, and–

Rob: Can you snap those windows closed Sadie, please while we’re on the road here.
[Sadie closes window]

Maddie: There’s a lot of kind of rap and hip-hop but the scenes are kind of segregated obviously, and also there’s a lot of like black hipsters but even that’s like segregated– so the black hipsters have there own places to go and the white hipsters all hang out in the same places and there’s like a few people who aren’t white kind of sprinkled in.

Rob: So the whole reputation of Detroit being like a black ghetto, it’s not like an all-black ghetto.

Maddie: No it’s mostly empty.

Rob: And you’ve got a mayor right now, who’s trying to revitalize it right?

Maddie: Yeah, I don’t know. Everyone’s really jaded and cynical in Detroit because they always make the wrong decision, like the person who makes the decisions for Detroit is like Governor Synder and these three–

Rob: Oh yeah they hate him! They want him to go to jail.

Maddie: Yeah and also these three billionaires make all of the decisions for Detroit.

Rob: They live in Detroit, they’re like big fat political bosses?

Maddie: I don’t even think they live in Detroit, they just like own anything in Detroit. And anytime anyone tries to own anything in Detroit that could possibly make any like real money, they like destroy them.

Rob: What are there names?

Maddie: Mike Ilitch, Dan Gilbert, and Manuel Moroun– who’s like basically this Irish mafia guy. And Dan Gilbert owns Quicken Loans. The Republican national convention was in Cleveland at the Quicken Loans Arena! So he owns a ton of stuff in the mid-west.

Rob: So he’s probably a Trump supporter.

Maddie: Yeah Mike Ilitch owns– I think he owns the Tigers or the Pistons or the Red league or something and he keeps building new arenas.

Lisa: It’s so cool that you know all those names.

Rob: Yeah, you’re very aware of what’s going on in your hometown.

Maddie: It’s just so– you can’t help but be a little bit politically aware if you live inside of Detroit. It’s like a city that barely runs like it barely runs, it’s so shameful. For the people that are actually from there, like for the black people that actually live there and couldn’t afford to move out when the white flight happened, their living conditions are so shameful.

Rob: How is it going to recover, I mean GM is not going to come back.

Maddie: Nobody cares!

Rob: I care! [chuckles]

Maddie: Yeah, you care but you’re not like a man with a billion dollars.

Lisa: You don’t know that Maddie! [laughs]

Maddie: Oh. Well, maybe you are a man with a million dollars.

Rob: I like living this way because I wanna be around the common people, you know?

Maddie: Yeah. [rubbing lips]

Rob: No but I mean the next phase for it is probably they are going to tear down those blocks and blocks of like vacant homes and let nature take over again right?

Maddie: Uh, that’s what Mayor Duggan is trying to do, he’s trying to finish this project to like tear down–

Rob: Because nobody’s got the money to move in and restore them. That can’t be done.

Maddie: Yeah, most of them and like lost causes, like these houses are so damaged.

Lisa: Aren’t Chinese business people buying up huge acreages?

Maddie: I don’t know.

Lisa: That’s what I read. They’re buying up like 100 acres at a time all over the place, just as an investment, like a what if– you know because it’s no skin off there back. Because you can buy it for like 100,000 dollars.

Maddie: Yeah you can buy like really historical buildings in Detroit for like 100,000 dollars.

Rob: Yeah sit on that for like 10 or 20 years and then you might triple your money or something.

Maddie: Yeah, because there are so many abandoned acres and acres of land like there’s so many crumbling hospitals and subdivisions where maybe like two people out of like 1,000 houses lived.

Rob: Are you committed to Detroit, Maddie, and Jen?

Maddie: No, I’ll go anywhere. But I won’t necessarily like it.

Jen: I like Detroit, I don’t know. I don’t have any reason to move right now unless something– unless I have a reason to move.

Rob: Something better comes along?

Jen: Or if I have some sort of job opportunity somewhere else, but I like Detroit. It works for me.

Lisa: I think it’s really good for you because you always find so many people to film, and like whatever project you have going on you always find a ton of people.

Maddie: Oh yeah, there are so many people that wanna do things.

Jen: Yeah, everybody’s usually game for stuff, it’s really fun, and I just have fun there. And it’s cheap, so it’ really easy and comfortable.

Rob: Now that your married and you’re gonna be moving to Pahrump, Lisa, are you gonna be spending more time in Pahrump or are you gonna be going to Las Vegas a lot.

Lisa: Oh, I wanna live in Pahrump. I wanna live in the desert.

Rob: Really, like– away from all the people?

Lisa: Yeah.

Rob: What do you like about Pahrump, you were saying last night something about how you like how it’s
a seedy, low income–

Lisa: No, it’s not seedy or low income, it’s in a valley and it’s surrounded by mountains and sky, it’s a really big beautiful sky. It’s like this sky actually– [pointing at sky]. It’s not that far from here.

Rob: It’s like this sky?

Lisa: Yeah, I mean this sky is so open you don’t realize it until you leave California or Nevada, it’s like–

Rob: You have a different sky on the east coast?

Lisa: Yeah, yeah it’s all closed in with buildings and there’s chemtrails everywhere!

Rob: That’s how they control you. No– umm– but you like the geography and nature?

Lisa: I like the geography and I like– it’s mostly like retired cowboys in Pahrump, and so I like that.

Rob: Salt of the earth type people.

Lisa: I don’t think so– like what is a salt of the earth– isn’t that like more mid-western?

Rob: I think that salt of the earth type people are like people that are characters in Rolling Stones songs from The Exile on Main street.

Lisa: I thought they were like hard working, middle class, like blue collar people.

Rob: Yeah, mhm.

Lisa: No that’s not that them, these are guys like really into independence.

Rob: Oh, okay, libertarians. They’re uh, what is it– Sovereign Citizens people. Do they have guns? Do
they like their guns?

Lisa: Yeah, they all have guns.

Rob: Are they bible thumper gun people?

Lisa: Some of them are, some of them aren’t. I mean I haven’t met each and every Pahrumpian. [laughs]

Rob: Is that a name you coined right now?

Lisa: Yeah. [laughs] But uh, in general people are just really laid back, old, they have a cowboy hat on, they know how to fix things.

Rob: I would have never pictured you doing that! Moving to that environment, all for over the 20 years that I’ve known you, I’ve always associated you with the Boston, Dover, New England area. That’s pretty cool, you’re making a change! That’s quite a thing.

Lisa: Yeah, I’m excited.

Rob: Really? That’s good. Well folks, [to the camera] you heard it here first.

Lisa: They have different trees, they have different birds, different bugs.

Rob: You’re getting into it.

Lisa: Yeah.

Rob: Totally new environment.

Lisa: And said you wouldn’t have allergies there.
[Sadie smiles]

Rob: Because there’s not as many grasses as she’s allergic to?

Lisa: Yeah.

Rob: Well the traffic is getting a little bit faster now, so I’m gonna click off because somebody might pull in front of me, like this guy– and I don’t want to rear-end him with my precious cargo of girls here. So thank you, folks, for turning into this episode of Reviewer TV, say goodbye folks. And we’ll see you next time for Car Seat Theatre, maybe when we’re in L.A. or something, see ya later.

[Below are a couple of videos of the Suckdog show later that night at Cafe Nela in East Los Angeles.]